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An extremely important life skill: learn how to recognize and deal with a narcissist

 

Intro to narcissism and narcissists

If you are having personal or professional problems that make you stay up late, have circular thoughts about your struggles, and how the situation does not make any sense, you may be a victim of a narcissist without knowing it!

Everyone should be able to identify a narcissist and know how to deal with them. Once you run into one, no matter what your education is, no matter how hard you work, and no matter how hard you try to resolve the issues using traditional approaches (being nice, reasonable, forgiving, rational...), your life can turn into misery. For many people, narcissistic abuse leaves a life-long emotional scar.

The closest description of a narcissist that I can come up with is like the one from the Terminator I movie:
"It can't be bargained with. It can't be reasoned with. It doesn't feel pity, or remorse, or fear! And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are dead!", except replace "are dead" with "do exactly what they want you to do, regardless of how counterproductive, wrong or unethical those actions may be."

It may be the case that narcissists cause the majority of the World's problems (no joke), and the only way that will stop is if we are all educated to recognize them and prevent them from exercising their behavior. 

How to deal with a narcissist

 I think there are only 2 ways to have a healthy relationship with a narcissist:

1. Be a perfect puppet of theirs:
     - Do everything as they say. You may make 1-2 suggestions, but once they reaffirm their instructions, you just say yes (happily).
     - Allow them to micromanage your every action.
     - Inform them about every single task you are doing.
     - Provide detailed plans about what you will be doing, so they can change anything before you do it.
     - Emphasize how amazing they are in every situation (1:1 and in group settings).
 

2. Leave them and never talk to them again

 

More resources from the leader in the field of narcissism 

To understand narcissists and narcissism in more depth, please watch a few videos of Dr Ramani. She is a leading clinical psychiatrist in this field and a passionate educator. I hope her teachings become mandatory at all levels of education.

Why it is so important to understand narcissism:

The narcissist: the wolf in sheep's clothing:

10 ways to become resistant to narcissists

The time suck that is the narcissistic relationship

When narcissists know YOU know...

 

Here is her YouTube channel with a lot more videos

 

This paper argues that narcissism stems from insecurity:

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0191886921001550

 

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